How to Get a Girl When You´re a Baiano

Moving away from my experience with Evander Holyfield´s brother, I want to talk a bit about the dynamic between girls and guys here. First and foremost, I want to reiterate the sentiment behind O Chefao’s earlier post: I have definitely been impressed with the way in which women here have learned to “survive” the Carnaval experience. However, to fully understand how impressive a feat this, I feel that there needs to be more attention paid to the tactics of the Baiano. Now I will be honest; in the years since I realized that girls actually don’t have “kooties” and that I am attracted to many of them, I have done alright in my relations with them. However, coming here and witnessing, with my own two eyes, the hunting practices of the Baiano, has blown my best “game” out of the water. In fact, I have been so impressed with these tactics, especially during Carnaval, that I took some notes. Though Carnaval may indeed be one of the greatest parties on earth, I am a student of excellence, and must acknowledge and study this excellence wherever I find it. Below are a couple of observations of Carnaval as well as the days leading up to it.

2.19.06 (O Chefao´s perspective)
We set out with a number of female members in the group to a party a couple towns away…walking through the crowd I saw what appeared to be a young Baiano take notice of a young lady in our group. Walking past him, I noticed his eyes fixated intently on this young woman. I watched as he calculated, waiting for the right moment. Then FLASH, he was gone, snaking adeptly through the crowd towards her, unwavering in his intention. And then at the precise moment he slid up to her, left arm circling her waist, bring her body towards him. I was frozen in awe by this young man’s calculation and determination. Fortunately, this young lady was able to evade this man’s persistence without a kiss, though I am not sure she would have been as fortunate on her own...

2.21.06
The scene: a club in the state of Bahia, just outside of Salvador. Carnaval is close, you can feel the energy in the air. I have once again been floored by the abilities of the Baiano. As the music in the club played, I sat with my compatriots, drinking a cold beverage that may or may not have been a beer. As we talked our conversation was immediately cut short as a beautiful woman walked by. The whole thing seemed to happen in slow motion. As she walked by, on her way to the bathroom, I saw a Baiano standing on the wall take notice of her as well. I did not think much of it until I saw her emerge from the bathroom. Like a lion who has stalked his prey, this man pounced, surprising this ‘gastoza’ with an arm around the waist, his head moving in for a kiss. Catching her by surprise, he landed the kiss, but only for a couple seconds before she shoved him away. Serves him right I thought. Unfortunately this thought was quite foolish. Keeping her firmly in his grasp he whispered in her ear for about fifteen seconds. As he pulled away I saw her expression turn from anger to one of contemplation. Then right before my eyes he went again for a kiss, and this time, instead of resisting, she met him halfway. After about two minutes of making out they left the area together, holding hands. Now if that isn’t game, I don’t know what the hell is...